Courtship

"Courtship is not “let’s get to know each other.” Courtship happens when he takes the time to sit down with your parents and tell them “I have every intention of marrying your daughter.”" -Lorna Richardson

rayahrealista:

I have 5 minutes to get this off my chest.

Courtship, to me, is not just “a pursuit of one’s heart”.

Anyone can try to pursue your heart.

I think it takes a certain maturity to say, “Let’s pray together about our friendship and the possibility of an actual relationship.”

Why? Because, It is not just about feelings, brightening each other’s days, making each other laugh or sharing your days with each other.

I have close friendships that serve the same purpose. I have brothers and sisters who fill my life with as much joy as any other guy could. My life is full of Love because God is in it.

So what’s the difference between a courtship and a friendship?

I think it’s surrender.

Regardless of the way I feel about anyone, what God thinks matters most to me and so, surrendering everything I think and feel to God is making the difference here.

Tomorrow, a week or a month from now…we could find that “this” does NOT work and that God doesn’t approve, and that would be okay with me.

His joy is my joy. Therefore, if this isn’t “it” I’ll be more than okay. I’ll still be happy regardless of not getting “my way.”

So sisters, guard your hearts. Do not stir up love before its time. If a brother is trying to “pursue your heart” sit high on your pedestal and make him work for your heart. Let him prove to God that he is worthy of your beauty. Just because a brother starts paying special attention to you does not mean you’re obligated to reciprocate.

Pray pray pray! If he hasn’t stated his intentions, hasn’t clearly stated that he wants to pray with you about starting a relationship, then be ON GUARD.

Don’t settle for the grey area. You’re either JUST friends or CLEARLY in a courtship. If you’re just friends, make sure you act accordingly (and if he’s acting beyond the lines of friendship, CALL HIM OUT!)

Don’t trade your heart for compliments, presents and late night phone calls.

Your heart belongs to a jealous God. He won’t give your heart to just anyone who thinks you’re beautiful.

Surrender your heart to God and hide beneath His protection. Let any brother who wants to seek you out, settle the matter with God.

Annnd….with that, 5 minutes is up and I need to go to school.

"Courtship: a new season of friendship. The purpose of this time would be to deepen our relationship so that we could prayerfully and purposefully explore the possibility of marriage.

Ultimately, it wasn’t the word itself that mattered. What did matter… was that our relationship have a clearly defined direction. I didn’t want to play games with her. Although I wanted us to start going on dates, I wasn’t interested in dating for the sake of dating. I wanted more than anything else to please God and find out if marriage was His plan for us. And I wanted this process to be one we could look back on with fondness and without regret— whether or not we married each other.

Some people asked why I bothered to initiate a defined season of courtship with her. Why not just ask her out and see where it went? I did it because I didn’t want another undefined relationship. Too many times in the past I had separated the pursuit of intimacy from the responsibility of commitment. I had learned that this was neither a wise nor caring way to treat a girl.

From the start, our pursuit of intimacy was paired with an openness to commitment. The difference was that now our activities and time we spent together had a purpose beyond mere recreation, and that purpose was clearly defined… We were walking toward the commitment of marriage, not simply seeing how romantically involved we could become for the sake of good time… We weren’t simply trying to get swept up in our emotions. Instead we were letting our feelings grow naturally out of our deepening respect, friendship and commitment to one another. Setting clear course for a defined season of courtship helped us keep from rushing into involvement with our hearts and bodies before we had time to get to know each other’s mind and character.

So even though a courtship shouldn’t be too serious, too soon, it shouldn’t be embarked on lightly either. In one sense, courtship is a commitment— It’s a promise not to play games with another person’s heart. In that sense it’s serious. It’s a willingness to honestly explore the merits of a lifelong commitment.

So what is courtship? It’s dating with a purpose. It’s romance chaperoned by wisdom. It’s a way of approaching relationships that can help us live out the truth of God’s Word as we persuit our heart’s desire. It’s a story of boy meets girl, where— whether you choose to marry or not— you can get to know each other in the confidence that you have only God’s very best ahead for each of you." -Joshua Harris