Cool and Free like a Summer Breeze

I’m looking forward to this short break. Give me a break longer than the average 3 days, throw in some YFC and bonding time with my friends who I can’t thank God enough for (who I know I should appreciate more) and I’m back to living life cool and free, like a summer breeze.

Lately there’s been a nagging in my heart. And I know its God. You know after seven years of the same sin, I really have to say that that chapter in my life is coming to an end. For sure now. And I’m really glad but I know I don’t really show it to myself cause I know I’m still in this battlefield. Ever since nearing the end and feeling it, I’ve felt like I’ve grown more and changed a whole lot but at the same time… I’ve seen the bigger battlefields.

But I’m not scared.

I know things have changed since a year ago. I think different. I feel different. Our friendships have changed. My emotions have grown less, but my faith has grown larger. I haven’t had deep conversations in a long time. The love that you feel when you’re bonding with friends. I guess that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you guys, that I can’t feel it anymore. That… something is gone.

But something new is here.

I can’t give up. I promised God a long time ago that I would never give up and that I’d try to be the best version of myself. At that time I knew I was saved and forever I’ll keep that in my heart. Truly, if God wills it, maybe things will come back again if it was truly meant to be like that. But… at the same time I’m ready to let go and move on.

I know God knows what’s best for me. He alone knows how to satisfy me beyond my fantasies, beyond my dreams and desires, and beyond anything that this world has to offer. Whatever path I’m headed for, I have to learn to become a man of God so that when I’m a father, either a father of a family or a father of a community, I can persevere and be steadfast.

I have hope. :)

-Gabriel